Topics and findings

I am writing a paper in my Modern Women Writers college class about child abuse. This is a very sore subject for me and a topic I feel very strongly about.
Upon my research for this topic, I have come across some very disturbing material. A book was written on abuse in 2001 called “Child Sexual Abuse Its scope and our failure” by Rebecca M. Bolen. Inside the author discusses the history of child abuse starting around the 1800’s and moving forward as well as its relationship with society. What I have learned based off just two chapters in this book is extremely powerful and very anger worthy in my opinion.
First, I have read that child abuse was basically suppressed until the 1970’s and 1980’s. That by its own accord is very astonishing because so many before now have been mistreated and misused. Secondly, that it was believed that children seduced adults! The author quotes Bender &Blau 1937 and Bender & Grugett 1952 and gives this quote “it was highly probable that the child had used his charms in the role of the seducer (p.826)” in her book to demonstrate the effects (Bolen, 21).
I have so much to say about all of this, but it must remain to start with my college paper rather than to confront it within this blog. What I can say is it reminds me of the views in the Middle East I spoke of in my previous blog. Societies there and here seem to relate in the fact that guilt trips are riddled everywhere. No wonder Victims of child sexual abuse feel like it is their fault- because before 1980 and in some cases even today- it was and is!
I will post my findings here as I move forward.

Earthquake Guilt Trip

  I read this article the other day from bbc news about a cleric claiming "promiscuous women" relatedness caused an earthquake which killed 25,000 people.

  I'll admit there are some rationals that do not quite fit from Middle East to US, but really, women can cause such devastation?

  I've enclosed a link to the article so that those who read this blog can look at what I'm talking about.  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8631775.stm

  After reading such an article I pondered the idea that the cleric portrayed and I quote "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes"
                He also talks about not disappointing God...

  Be that as it may- I have to admit my wondering mind first went to anger at such a thing as a woman dressing differently or even scandalous being the cause of a natural disaster. 

  But then I realized- WOW! Women have power! and not just any kind of power, but according to this cleric, the earth shattering kind of power, and the power to cause a reaction in a higher power such as God.

  Is he really saying that women have control over men, control over the earth, and control over a higher being?
And if that be the case, then I guess I could see in all the greed how someone might want to harness that power and use it to their own advantage.

  I believe there is a God, but I would never believe for half a second that the way anyone dressed could be the cause of something horrific as a natural disaster killing so many- 
                                  what a guilt trip. 
  I cannot even fathom the kind of emotional abusive pain this kind of accusation could cause women in the Middle East.

Life

So unfortunately life has kept me from class a little, But hey there's still plenty to say right?

I went to bingo with my grandmother, You would be surprised the kind of people that are their. Bingo is stereo typed as an old people thing, and yes several older generations, male and female, attend, but allot of them are younger generation, mostly female there. It was actually quite fun. There were several younger couple attending as well. The one thing I did notice about the people there, was that they seemed lonely, specially the older men.

I have noticed alot more of stereo types since starting this class, even when people talk among friends. I was at the mall today and there were a couple ladies standing in line infront of me, and right out of the blue she quotes what her husband would say if he knew where she was. So whats wrong with shopping, everyone does it, some people just enjoy it more...

Barbelittle

It's strange to think how many women live up to others expectations, I wasn't sure I was going to write about this, but it just keeps jutting out in my mind. There was a mardi gras at a local bar recently, which i attended, and for starters there was a bead contest, naturally, but it was only with women, and how do you suppose they got those beads, not only from paying customers but bartenders as well, I'm sure you can figure it out if you are familiar with mardi gras at all, if not, well lets just say topless is a key element....any way so there is one mark I may not have looked at twice before this class, then lets add in another, two women actually went around the room topless (at the bar) with only beads letting guys take pictures, i think some women too, but not completely sure. Honestly because of the attention, I only half wished I could be as bold as that, but at the same time, what they were doing was not creating a good outlook for themselves as women....just my opinion. I don't care if they run around topless, The point is the reason and attention behind it, it just shows what some people will do to be accepted in a social gathering/situation......

Home or work?

I had a curiousity.... Given the oppurtunity to stay home how many truly would or have?

Honestly I like both. But not one or the other.
for me there are huge downfalls to both. I have two kids and I have to work/or something to support them. and as I thought of my answer to this question I realized I'm both mom/dad for the most part. Dad is involved regularly-however he doesn't take care of school, therapy, housing, meals, projects, learning, displine regularly, field trips, activities, and the list goes on. But as some one who assumes the role of both with a kind of outside static I realized not just from me but people who know me that I'm a genuinly accepting person. I just accept what needs to be done, I accept responsibility, I accept opinions(and am teaching to their fathers dismay my girls to have an opinion.) I accept other peoples life styles even if they are in my own home. I do have opinions of these people, but I accept who they are as a person. And I think it draws from my experience, at home and work.
At home allot means I'm alone alot, not socially inclined, too much time on my hands, eventual depressed.
However being at work more than not, means no time with my kids, no real conditioning time to help mold them, everything is rushed and they spend a good too much portion of thier time with another adult other than me, who eventually i end up contending with over what is right for my children, but also acceptable to the environement of a sitter....

Strange, there are good things to both worlds which is why both would be better.