Come take a peek at what I revised this week. My favorite 5 sentences-
Taken from my novel The Jade Coterie- Chapter 2.
Unfamiliar eyes settled on Ebony. Heat rose to her cheeks and she smoothed her dress. She hadn’t thought about what she would do when she actually made it to the Manor. Figuring she made a right good spectacle of herself by rushing inside, Ebony looked away. Perhaps if she pretended not to notice, they’d eventually lose interest in her first few moments of humiliation. She surveyed the room.
Feel free to share five of your sentences in the comments.
Taken from my novel The Jade Coterie- Chapter 2.
Unfamiliar eyes settled on Ebony. Heat rose to her cheeks and she smoothed her dress. She hadn’t thought about what she would do when she actually made it to the Manor. Figuring she made a right good spectacle of herself by rushing inside, Ebony looked away. Perhaps if she pretended not to notice, they’d eventually lose interest in her first few moments of humiliation. She surveyed the room.
Feel free to share five of your sentences in the comments.
14 comments:
"A right good spectacle" - I like that!
I can feel her blush!! Poor Ebony!! Thanks for sharing - yay!! Take care
x
Ooo, I know how she feels! I hate that moment of embarrassment in front of people, haha. Now I'm wondering why she's feeling so humiliated and why she was rushing!
lol! I feel that way more than I care to admit. Great writing Summer!
Boy, can I relate. I had one of those embarrassing moments just this morning. Ack!
Happy Weekend :)
Oooh, I can feel the burn in my own cheeks remembering moments like that. Good job!
and here's my little bit from this last week of revision:
King Alexandros fought the impulse to show relief. He turned away from the Captain, just in case his face showed something, and he stamped his stave of office on the ground next to him.
“The Fool!” he shouted. He meant himself, but he hoped the Captain would think that he meant his son.
Tyrean- Awesome lines! I love the internal conflict going on.
Aww! Poor girl! I wonder what spectacle she made of herself.
I can feel the tension and Ebony's embarrassment. Well done.
Love the turn of phrase you used to bring voice to your sentences!
I'm curious why she's at the Manor--great five sentences!
I hope everyone stops paying attention to her and goes back to what they were doing. I wonder where she is! christy
You capture her humiliation well with how others react to her and what she's thinking and feeling.
I like it, Summer. My fav is the "right good spectacle" line.
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