I'm doing two blogfests today- obviously this is a huge feat, but here they both are none the less. The first one is the Back to school blogfest from Roh. The second is the I got U blogfest from Sa Larsen. I tried not to make them too long, I'll be greatly appreciative if you make it through them...thank you in advance and sorry for a long post.
Back to school: This is a non-fiction piece.
I Could barely hobble through the hallway. My peers moved out of the way staring as I stopped every few seconds to cling to the wall. The pain shot down my legs, zinging the muscles to shake and a burn raged in my abdomen. Step by step, I advanced to room 171.
I held back tears with deep concentrated breaths as I sat in one of the four chairs at the front table. The cool steel surrounded my aching body and I slumped. The only visible weakness I allowed my self. The release of my mere 85lbs slid tears down the rim of my nose and I quietly sat.
I brushed the tears away like a dishcloth slowly wiping over spilt milk. My hands shook and fumbled for the current reading material, pens, and paper. I opened the notebook and wrote. Mostly random thoughts, but it didn't really matter as long as I could still write.
Slowly my classmates trickled in one at a time. I didn't bother looking up at any of them. I could pretend for the next fifty minutes nothing bothered me.
As the professor plunked her books down on the head desk and spoke of the different ways to write an essay, my mind wandered to the doctors appointment before class.
"The best alternative is a hysterectomy." Dr Spalding said.
"At this point I don't care." I replied wrapping the slim paper around my lower body.
"You're only 27. There are some things we'll need to discuss if that's the route you want to take."
"Look, I want the pain gone. I already have all the kids I intend on having and the rest can be dealt with. A patch is better than going through the inability to eat, walk, or take care of my family. This pain interferes with my quality of life and how I take care of my girls."
Doctors, they should understand when a patient is unable to handle much more. For over a year I've "dealt" with it and in the last few months the pain has only gotten worse.
"Alright. I've already done the laproscopy and confirmed you have endometriosis. So now I'll send you to set up the date for your surgery."
Of course she wouldn't have argued with me. She's seen me for three months now and knows I have no real options except to go through with surgery or stay on pain medication until they "have" to do surgery. The Hysterectomy still wouldn't be scheduled until the second week of June. I explained to the scheduler that I had college classes until may 15th.
"Are you sure you want to wait two more months? We can schedule you in about three weeks." The polite middle aged woman looked up at me.
"Yes, I'm sure. June." In every part of me I hated having to wait. The crawling back and forth to the bathroom doubling over every few inches to catch my breath the pain stole didn't make my decision easy.
I had already thought this through. The grants I received from attending a full time class schedule at the local college paid my bills, helped put clothes on my girls, and paid for parts of these doctor visits. I couldn't afford to lose that any more than I could handle living with the pain thriving through out my body. But, if I lost it all, I wouldn't lose just my classes, I could possibly lose my children and that slid me into my decision. I've dealt with it for this long, what's a few more months?
I'm sure I'll know the answer to that the next time I pass out because my insides feel as though a knife is slowly tearing my abdomen apart, laughing at my "thought out" decision.
A sheet of paper slid under my hand and i brought myself back to the professor explaining the assignment for next week. She glanced over at the white and black clock hanging above the door.
"I'll see you all Monday with hopefully a rough draft or outline ready." She dismissed us.
I sat waiting, steeling myself for the pain to engross me again before I rose and step by step trudged the long walk back down the hallway.
I got You :
Honestly there are so many wonderful followers that its hard to pick one. However since the rules are to pick one- then I'd Choose Jen at unedited because she began following me way before 100 or 50, and she always manages to comment and make me feel special in some way.
When I'm not sure what to write,
and I a post comes in the night,
When my life is in a trance,
I post a childish rant,
When I'm feeling really low,
and my post begins to show,
When your writing a review,
or you post a juicy view,
So really this wouldn't be just for Jen but for all my followers who comment even when they are busy in their lives! I appreciate every single person who takes the time out of their day to view something I have to say!
I know it's really cheesy- but I can be that way sometimes....every one of us is entitled to cheesiness.
Thank you all so much for your effort, time, comments, and posting for me to read :) You all inspire me to keep writing, its a wonderful community I'm glad to be apart of.
Tomorrow is part two of the Scottish festival...bright and early :)