If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

entries: Back to school and I got you blogfests

Today my poem is supposed to be out at www.everydaypoets.com  if you can't find it yet keep looking...its called "Whiskey Kisses" (Happy dances!!!!!)

I'm doing two blogfests today- obviously this is  a huge feat, but here they both are none the less. The first one is the  Back to school blogfest from Roh. The second is the I got U blogfest from Sa Larsen. I tried not to make them too long, I'll be greatly appreciative if you make it through them...thank you in advance and sorry for a long post.

Back to school: This is a non-fiction piece.

I Could barely  hobble through the hallway. My peers moved out of the way staring as I stopped every few seconds to cling to the wall. The pain shot down my legs, zinging the muscles to shake and a burn raged in my abdomen. Step by step, I advanced to room 171.

 I held back tears with deep concentrated breaths as I sat in one of the four chairs at the front table. The cool steel surrounded my aching body and I slumped. The only visible weakness I allowed my self. The release of my mere 85lbs slid tears down the rim of my nose and I quietly sat.

I brushed the tears away like a dishcloth slowly wiping over spilt milk. My hands shook and fumbled for the current reading material, pens, and paper. I opened the notebook and wrote. Mostly random thoughts, but it didn't really matter as long as I could still write.

Slowly my classmates trickled in one at a time. I didn't bother looking up at any of them. I could pretend for the next fifty minutes nothing bothered me.

 As the professor plunked her books down on the head desk and spoke of the different ways to write an essay, my mind wandered to the doctors appointment before class.

"The best alternative is a hysterectomy." Dr Spalding said.

"At this point I don't care." I replied wrapping the slim paper around my lower body.

"You're only 27. There are some things we'll need to discuss if that's the route you want to take."

"Look, I want the pain gone. I already have all the kids I intend on having and the rest can be dealt with. A patch is better than going through the inability to eat, walk, or take care of my family. This pain interferes with my quality of life and how I take care of my girls."

 Doctors, they should understand when a patient is unable to handle much more. For over a year I've "dealt" with it and in the last few months the pain has only gotten worse.

"Alright. I've already done the laproscopy and confirmed you have endometriosis. So now I'll send you to set up the date for your surgery."

 Of course she wouldn't have argued with me. She's seen me for three months now and knows I have no real options except to go through with surgery or stay on pain medication until they "have" to do surgery. The Hysterectomy still wouldn't be scheduled until the second week of June. I explained to the scheduler that I had college classes until may 15th.

"Are you sure you want to wait two more months? We can schedule you in about three weeks." The polite middle aged woman looked up at me.

"Yes, I'm sure. June." In every part of me I hated having to wait. The crawling back and forth to the bathroom doubling over every few inches to catch my breath the pain stole didn't make my decision easy.

I  had already thought this through. The grants I received from attending a full time class schedule at the local college paid my bills, helped put clothes on my girls, and paid for parts of these doctor visits. I couldn't afford to lose that any more than I could handle living with the pain thriving through out my body. But, if I lost it all, I wouldn't lose just my classes, I could possibly lose my children and that slid me into my decision. I've dealt with it for this long, what's a few more months?

 I'm sure I'll know the answer to that the next time I pass out because my insides feel as though a knife is slowly tearing my abdomen apart, laughing at my "thought out" decision.

 A sheet of paper slid under my hand and i brought myself back to the professor explaining the assignment for next week. She glanced over at the white and black clock hanging above the door.

"I'll see you all Monday with hopefully a rough draft or outline ready." She dismissed us.

I sat waiting, steeling myself for the pain to engross me again before I rose and step by step trudged the long walk back down the hallway.

 I got You :

Honestly there are so many wonderful followers that its hard to pick one. However since the rules are to pick one- then I'd Choose Jen at unedited because she began following me way before 100 or 50, and she always manages to comment and make me feel special in some way.

When I'm not sure what to write,
and I a post comes in the night,
You comment

 When my life is in a trance,
I post a childish rant,
You comment

When I'm feeling really low,
and my post begins to show,
You comment.

When your writing a review,
or you post a juicy view,
 I comment-

 So really this wouldn't be just for Jen but for all my followers who comment even when they are busy in their lives! I appreciate every single person who takes the time out of their day to view something I have to say!

 I know it's really cheesy- but I can be that way sometimes....every one of us is entitled to cheesiness.

Thank you all so much for your effort, time, comments, and posting for me to read :) You all inspire me to keep writing, its a wonderful community I'm glad to be apart of.

Tomorrow is part two of the Scottish festival...bright and early :)


Jessica Carmen Bell said...

Aw how sweet. Very cute poem! Jen is definitely a dedicated blogger! :o)

salarsenッ said...

Love the poem. Great idea for the blogfest. Thanks for putting in so much effort, doing two fests at the same time. Nicely done.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Aww...Jen's wonderful! I loved the poem!

Jen said...

It seems I've missed quite a bit on the blogosphere when I left for a few days! I have a lot of catching up to do!!

You amaze me with the time and effort you put into blog fests! I'm in awe of your brilliance and your back to school piece was nothing short of amazing! I love your writing style and your descriptiveness keeps me on my feet (if descriptiveness is a word, lol)

Aren't you a sweetheart! I appreciate the kind words! Your poem was beautiful, my eyes did fill with tears, I love to comment here, you always have me smiling and your love of fairies just makes me love you more!!! Thank you for thinking of me :)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Hi, Summer. I love your tribute to Jen. She's one of my favorite bloggers, too. :-)

Anonymous said...

The poem is very evocative, and the blogfest piece is touching and funny

Carolyn V. said...

That is so awesome! Great blogfests. =)

PK Hrezo said...

Hi, Summer. I found your post on Sheri's blog. I'll check out Jen's now too. Super cute poem!

Will Burke said...

I'm impressed at how you juxtaposed that the pain impeded her obligations to family and class, but had to be tolerated so she could meet her obligations.

Carolyn Abiad said...

Hurray for Jen! I think we all have one follower like her (or should), but this blogfest is the first tme we get to say thanks.

Elena Solodow said...

Both posts were great -and yay for Jen! She is awesome.

Your back-to-school really showed what it's like to have a chronic medical issue (I've had mine too). Thanks for sharing with us.

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Loved your non-fiction. Very heartfelt, nice writing. Poem was very sweet.

I didn't enter either of these two, but was doing my rounds, so I hope you don't mind me butting in. :)

Mesmerix said...

Wow, your back too school entry is really emotionally charged. A qualifier of good nonfiction is the ability to incorporate narrative description and voice, just like fiction, into a real world occurence. I think you've got that here. Good work.

Sharde(Shar-day) said...

Hey girlie, congratulations on the, ahem, I shall not name it just in case you wish to do the honors yourself. But just know that I'm congratulating you on your name making the list.


Summer Ross said...

PK- Welcome an enjoy!

Wendy~ No worries, I don't mind at all!

Sharde~~...winks...thank you!!!

Jen~ you are an inspiration :)

Jessica, Sa Larsen, Sharon, Elena, Mesmerix, Shannon, Carolyn Abiad, Will, eeleenlee, and Carolyn~~ thank you so much for your comments!

RosieC said...

I'm excited to go check out your poem. Congrats again :)

If you get a chance, stop by my blog. There's something waiting there for you :)

RosieC said...

PS--Your poem is positively stunning. Very well done :)

Raquel Byrnes said...

That was so intense! I had no idea the pain of endometriosis was that bad. Wow...

Edge of Your Seat Romance

P.D. Wright said...

Wow, that story is really emotional. I hate pain, so I shuddered with each mention. Great job! I also enjoyed the poem whole lot. :)

Summer Ross said...

Raquel~ it actually differs from person to person, but really in the end its horrible

Old Kitty said...

Your Back to School piece made for harrowing reading. I really enjoyed it - it's such a personal emotive moment and I think you captured the pain and fear here with a hint of stoicism and optimism! Lovely, thank you.

And your I got you poem is so sweet!!! Yay for Jen!

Take care

Summer Ross said...

Old kitty- Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it

Candyland said...

Aww I LOVE Jen! Great post:)

Brenda Drake said...

My sister suffered the same thing. This is a wonderful piece and very heartfelt. Thank you for sharing! :D

Julie Jabbers said...

Great poem/post as usual!

Elaine AM Smith said...

Hey Summer
Your writing was very moving, painful. It had me squirming in my chair. Take care.

DLCurran said...

First time here and I'm glad to be here - what a lovely poem for Jen! I'm less than a month here and I already think she's amazingly lovely.

Your non-fiction brought tears to my eyes a couple times.

roh morgon said...

Sorry to be so late...

Very touching entry. Chronic pain is difficult to describe to those who've never lived with it, but you did a fantastic job here. College is tough enough - college as a single parent is even tougher (I've done it), but doing so while dealing with a severe medical issue has to be the worst.

Your narrative style brings all those issues to life in this piece. Very nice entry.

And thanks for participating in my blogfest!

Love the poem, btw!

J.C. Martin said...

Very brave of you to post a piece of non-fiction for your Back to School blogfest entry. Endometriosis can be a crippling disease. Bravo for you! Hope the worst is over.

And thanks for the sweet poem! That was cute!

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