If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Teaser Tuesday

I'm currently reading and applying Editor Proof Your Writing 21 steps to the clear prose publishers and agents crave.By Don McNair.

" ~Use fewer 'had' in internal dialogue~

What's wrong with this sentence?
She had spent the money foolishly.

Well, nothing. It's a perfectly respectable sentence. Except... well, it's a step away in tense.
We're saying the subject had already done something at a specific time. Wouldn't it be clearer if we just said this?:

She spent her money foolishly. " pg 74

5 comments:

Cherie Reich said...

Interesting teaser!

Of course, "had" has its place too. It just changes the meaning a bit. :)

Jessica@a GREAT read said...

Ooh interesting tease for book on writing tips. It was always these kinds of things that confused me in my school years. Even being an English major. I think it's because I was already reading way too much Urban Fantasy where you're allowed to break the rules!

Here's my Teaser

Have a GREAT day!

Old Follower :)

Christine Rains said...

Great tip. My editor nabs me on that sometimes!

Kim Van Sickler said...

It's a constant battle, eliminating unnecessary words. Thank God for the Find feature in Word.

Cara Bristol said...

Yes, that's much better.

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