I'm currently reading and applying Editor Proof Your Writing 21 steps to the clear prose publishers and agents crave.By Don McNair.
" ~Use fewer 'had' in internal dialogue~
What's wrong with this sentence?
Well, nothing. It's a perfectly respectable sentence. Except... well, it's a step away in tense.
We're saying the subject had already done something at a specific time. Wouldn't it be clearer if we just said this?:
" ~Use fewer 'had' in internal dialogue~
What's wrong with this sentence?
She had spent the money foolishly.
Well, nothing. It's a perfectly respectable sentence. Except... well, it's a step away in tense.
We're saying the subject had already done something at a specific time. Wouldn't it be clearer if we just said this?:
She spent her money foolishly. " pg 74
5 comments:
Interesting teaser!
Of course, "had" has its place too. It just changes the meaning a bit. :)
Ooh interesting tease for book on writing tips. It was always these kinds of things that confused me in my school years. Even being an English major. I think it's because I was already reading way too much Urban Fantasy where you're allowed to break the rules!
Here's my Teaser
Have a GREAT day!
Old Follower :)
Great tip. My editor nabs me on that sometimes!
It's a constant battle, eliminating unnecessary words. Thank God for the Find feature in Word.
Yes, that's much better.
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