Hello everyone- yes here is my next blogfest entry for miss Brenda Drakes Never ending scene cliff hanger
If I don't get to your entry right away- please be patient with me, I will get there in a day or so there's alot of entries...please have a look through as many as you can of these great writers!
The rules:
"no more than 500 words, which has a rocking cliffhanger (pun intended). It can be any genre. Just leave us hanging, craving more, and cursing your name for making us want to turn a page that isn't there."
About this piece: Do you remember Andaya from Black Diamond City? Well here she is again in this scene right after the icky Goo shadow beast...Enjoy!
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“Watch where you step,” the pixie whispered.
“What are these?” Andaya walked around most of the strands but at first could not help bumping them slightly. They all moved in her direction. If she stepped to the left, every strand within ten feet fell to the left.
“Nids.”
Andaya looked closer, the white sticks looked more like an antennae. They twitched with her step. She decided that as long as they stayed firmly in the ground she could handle it.
“Nids? Is that a new word for sticks?” Andaya stepped forward lightly one foot after the other. Cold crawled up her legs as she placed each foot.
“They are actually three legged deceptive creatures that cause very serious problems for spirits.” Moon meadow followed close to her shoulder. Her colors faded from bright to dull as they moved towards the hill.
Ice trickled in Andayas’ form breaking, as it raced upwards, into slick pieces. The closer they came to the black hill the slower they walked and colder Andaya became.
“What is happening?” Andaya chattered.
26 comments:
Wow, I love your fairy characters. :) There are Nids in NC and they stick to everything within reach. :D
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
Thanks for sharing your piece! You made me curious about the nids.
Nice! I'm very intrigued. Why is she getting so cold?
Ooooh what a fab ending!! I definitely would like to know what happens next!! Wow! Well done you! Take care
x
Lots of good imagery here! I had to Google nid to see if that was real or made up!
Great job and good luck!
:)
This short piece felt just right. The descriptive quality of the nids was great. "If she moved left, they moved left." That was a creepy little image. Sorry the comment isn't longer, but this was great entry.
Best,
J.W. Parente
In My Write Mind
Bree~~ Yup I made them up!
J.W.~~ No worries, glad you stopped by!
Thanks everyone for reading!! I'm glad you are enjoying the scene.
Great entry, Summer! Really curious to know more about this different world you've created!
Thanks for the very sweet post on my blog! Hope you'll stop by often.
Interesting!
Color me intrigued! :D
Caught my curiosity wondering what was happening to her. Good scene!
Thanks so much for telling me when the blogpost will be going up, Summer. Means a lot to me.
--Lindsey
I liked this line: "Cold crawled up her legs". Really cool, and kinda creepy!
I really liked this, you made me want more.
Creepy and very strong writing. You have a talent for creating atmosphere. I loved it.
That's so mean! So ...what happened next? :P
Short but sweet! I liked your imagery and I want to read more. Great job!
Interesting. The nids are an intriguing addition to the scene and then there is the cold. I am interested in learning more about the character and the plot in general.
Lovely Summer. Very intriguing. The 'nids?' New. Great cliffhanger entry..:)
A short piece, but long enough to draw us in and give us a clear image. Nice writing, Summer. Keep up the good work.
Hi Summer, I really enjoyed reading this. Just a suggestion, but "chattered" in the last line interrupted the flow of the cliffhanger a little for me. Can you maybe come up with a different word, or refer to her teeth chattering to clarify? Great piece.
Rach
Hi,
Moon Meadow, love that name.
As for the "nids", great concept and sense of fear attached to these critters: whatever they may be! Kind of reminded me of jungle leech' wavering and awaiting passing host to donate a goodly feast. Good cliffhanger, too. ;)
best
F
I love your fantasy characters! Short but intriguing!
Um...holy lot of comments. No wonder--it was great. I have a critique buddy from an online site who does fairy art for a living in Austrailia.
her name is Selina Fenech at Farries and Fantasy somethiing or other. Google her. She's great.
Thanks for the read.
J
Love the fairy element. With each step, getting colder. How cold will she get before she freezes? If she does.
I want to know more about the nids. Nice set up.
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