If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Arguing with my inner self

sʎɐp   ǝsǝɥʇ  ɟlǝsʎɯ  ɯ,I  ʞuıɥʇ  ʇ,uop  I

See what I mean- I'm upside down! I am distressed with having no clue what to write my published story on- the pressure of everything seems so intense right now...

 I'm running with feelings of unworthiness- I mean really I'm nobody- just another writer, someone who wants to create- a person who wants to give something to the world that's enjoyable in some degree but is true to myself.
Last night in my short writing session I wrote:
"who am I kidding I'm not good enough to be published"

My argument with myself went something like this...

Me: "But I am published in poetry-"

 Inner self:" That's only poetry"

Me: "but it was hard to write that and get it right"

Inner self: "But its not a ten page story"

Me: "Good point"

Ugh! I keep going in circles still coming up with no ideas for a short ten page story or even two short stories...or even ten poems!
However I have found some great exercises that I hope will help me out a little. 
what I would really like to do is get the rough draft for the anthology done before NaNo starts that way I'm not competing with two stories plus school and kids. But there are only a few weeks left and my brain is like mush when it comes to new ideas.
I attempted to look at old ideas for a possible rewrite- but I'm not interested in them and I want something new and that I can be proud of....my manly man says I'm making it to hard, and that maybe I need to drop down a few levels and think simpler about it.

But reality is I'm a writer- and well my writer brain says... "make it worth getting into the anthology."

Anyone feel like chocolate ice-cream and Tinkerbell videos?


Jeffrey Beesler said...

Self doubt can be the death of a writer's craft. We have to always persevere, especially in the face of adversity, and never give up on the things which matter most of all to us. I know self-doubt always plagues me every chance it gets.

Jules said...

Oh yes, I'm in for both. Tinkerbell is one of my hero's. :)

Now it sounds like your man-friend is right. STOP, don't think of the story anymore. Think only of a moment, close your eyes, see the moment?
Now forget it.

Come back tomorrow and tell the moment.

Sending Fairy HUGS
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Carolyn V. said...

I totally do. =) I think as writers we all go through that. I wish I had an answer to make it better, but the only one I have is keep keepin' on. That's what I have to do to feel like I can do it. =) Good luck Summer.

C. N. Nevets said...

First step is to relax, Summer.

Let yourself breathe.

Your submission to get in was good enough to get in, so there's absolutely no reason you can't write something that you will be proud of for the anthology, and every reason to believe that you not only can but will.

If you ever wanna talk about what you're thinking about, just shoot me an e-mail at c dot n dot nevets at gmail dot com.

Haddock said...

I am ready for the Tinkerbell videos.....

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

What's the anthology about? Are there subject matter restrictions? Have you ever though about a memoir? I don't mean a tell all book about yourself, but, fiction written in a memoir style - and, no one has to know how much of it is true or not. It would let you draw on reality, things you already know, and write them into fiction. Just a thought.

Summer Ross said...

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I really appreciate your comments.
C.N. I might take you up on that in a few days.

Old Kitty said...

Awwwww!! Sometimes the ideas come when you least expect!! Take it easy, enjoy and have a look around and have a little fun and then before you know it your mind's all relaxed and open to inspirations and ideas that you've already got deep inside you - they're just stubborn things and need cajoling and teasing out rather than forcing! I think so anyway!
Take care

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

You want to know the key? The secret to success? Practice. You just keep writing. Go to every conference you can. Join a critique group and I PROMISE you, you'll make it. The ones who don't are the ones who give up. The greats were only great because they kept going!!! You can do it!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You're stressing! Don't think about it so hard.

Summer Ross said...

Wendy- the anthology i believe is just a mesh of authors- they just told us that what ever we send in they will publish. Crazy huh...but maybe thats why its so stressful...

The Words Crafter said...

I understand that circle of thought. Distract yourself, destress, and come at it again with a fresh, relaxed mind....

And good luck!

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