8 sentences from my novel Bloodstone
~Her breath caught and
instinctively she tried to pull herself free. Like a rabbit caught in a trap,
the more she struggled the harder her father held on. His anger only increased
by her defiance. He bit his bottom lip and brought the knife up.
Ebony
broke out in a sweat as she realized her father intended to chop the ring off
her finger. Her heart hammered in her chest as she struggled harder, trying to
grab the counter or anything to give her leverage. Ebony's hand slid free and she
fell back on the white tiled floor. She looked up at her father. ~
(You do not have any right to reproduce this excerpt in any way.)
28 comments:
Oh my word. Will he succeed with this I wonder. How ghastly. Great suspense filled snippet 😳
Uh oh, something tells me Dad doesn't like his new son-in-law ... great eight!
OMG! Serious trouble going on here. Scary. You've captured the scene so graphic, I shivered reading it.
Nice suspense and detail!
Oh my... How is she going to get out of this, I wonder? I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, biting my fingernails and crying over having to wait a whole week to see what happens next.
Oh wow! That's an intense eight. Great work!
Great 8. I tweeted.
Very intense snippet! Definitely got me wondering what's going to happen next. Hope you continue with this next Sunday!
~Joyce Scarbrough
Oh my stars! What kind of father tries to chop off his daughters finger? Totally freaked me out! Wasn't expecting that at all. Very, very nice, m'dear.
I love the intensity of this snippet. Not father of year, is he?
Whoa! That was intense! Great 8!!
Wow, this is quite a scene we've walked into, very intense. I hope she can get away unscathed. Excellent excerpt!
Wow, do you ever know how to hook a girl. Fabulous eight! I'll be back for more! :)
Oh, wow. Great writing! Can't wait to find out what happens...
Well, I'm hooked! What an intense reaction from her father! Looking forward to the next instalment.
Very intense. Her father is super ticked off.
Great intensity and nastiness here. Daddy's not very reasonable, I see. (Love the rabbit in a trap simile, FYI. Creates a great visual association.)
What a nasty guy! Makes me appreciate my Dad more, that's for sure.
You've used the word "caught" in two successive sentences. Might want to change one of them, or just delete the second one.
Very tense eight. Well done!
Wow! What an intense scene and a great tease. :)
Tense and emitional snippet. I hope her father controls his anger before it's too late.
Chop off her finger? Ugh, what a nasty father. I wonder how she'll fight back. Great snippet!
Wow... that was intense. Well done and thanks for sharing. Hopefully she gets through this in one piece.
Whoa, daddy's angry. Did she fall back because he got the ring or because he rethought his anger and let go? I hope the latter.
Oh, good, she got free, but I don't think that's the end of it. Intense snippet, Summer. :)
Omg, amazing 8! So much panic, very intense. I hope you'll put up more next week, please!!
Ooh, tense! I loved the pace and the way it had me holding my breath!
Hmm...makes you wonder if he's got more in mind than cutting her finger off.
Nice 8!
WOW. Powerful excerpt!
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