First page blogfest

Hello everyone- here is my entry for Elle's First page blogfest  Its short and has more dialogue than anything because that is what I was playing with. Tell me what you think- its ok to be harsh as long as its respectfully done.  This is only about 240 words so its a short read. After your done go have a looksie at everyone elses posts! There is some formatting issues with blogger- but its all readable.


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“There in the back,” Felicia pointed a long slender finger.

“Four inches?” Sonia nodded her diamond shaped crown.

“Yes, with Mahogany waves.” Felicia’s manicured hands gently lifted the café mocha to her full red lips.

“Kind of plain, however, there is an appeal to the simplicity,” Sonia glanced back to her slim friend.

“I’d give a five maximum,” Felicia retorted.

“There’s a certain Je ne sais quoi, maybe it’s the fierceness ? I’d say six, the gentleman in the pin stripe noticed already.” Sonia flipped her golden curls behind her bare shoulders.

“Good point, I often wonder why they bother,” Felicia met Sonia’s eyes.

            The two of them sat quietly at the small metal table. Donya knew their type, judgmental. Clearly, they could not see past their own doctored noses.  They were right about how fierce a presence could be, even in the ordinary.  Having money, it would be easy for them to talk about such a priceless physique.

Donya knew she did not need money to appreciate her life, but their words bit deep, crunching down on the strings that held her emotions intact. Her nails were not tipped with shiny gloss. Her hair did not gleam in the sunlight, most times, it did its own thing, but today she let it hang by her shoulders. Her black fay t-shirt was not made of silk like Sonia’s white blouse. Her tight blue jeans had a small hole in the pocket, but they fit Donya’s form well.