If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Monday, January 3, 2011

2 blogfest entries!!

My first blogfest entry is the Show me yours blogfest 
I tried to keep both entries short so it will be easy to get through.
Here is a piece from one of my NaNo projects.

I don't have a title yet, its a fantasy piece.

Jude snuck through the window to the small cottage. The charm sat in a clear container on the mahogany table. There were other materials with it, but he only sought the charm. The simple white square with a silver heart dangling in its middle protected any who wore it from danger. He had to have it. With the charm around his neck he could break into any bank, any house, or even walk underwater as long as the piece hung around his neck. Since his trade involved regular break-ins, the charm would pretty much guarantee he succeeded. Oh how jealous the other traders would be if he had it. Everything he ever wanted would be at his finger tips, the prestige of his trade, the money, and the women. Only one person could take the opportunity away from him: Astra, the witch hogging the charm for herself. Funny thing about witches, stealing from them tends to have side effects.

Before his hand touched the precious jewelry, Astra’s laughter rang through out the entire room. He froze. His heart hammered at his rib cage. All he needed to do was snag the piece and run. He reached forward as quick as he could, the cool metal slinked along his fingers. He clutched into his fist and turned to run.

“Silly boy, you must earn the charm. I can’t allow you to steal it.” More laughter surrounded Jude and then Astra floated in front of him. Her raven black ringlets hung in the air. Her eyes sparkled green. A smile clung to her garnet lips.

Jude’s hand tingled where the charm sat snug in his palm. An itching followed slinking on the surface of his skin and circling its way up his arm until his whole body itched the itch no one could scratch. Jude scratched with his other hand everywhere he could reach. Suddenly it stopped and his body floated before the witch. The charm dropped to the floor right through his hand. Jude watched as if it happened in slow motion. Instantly the witch had the necklace dangling from her fingertip.

“There is a price to pay for this trinket young man. I can see in your heart all that you desire. Let us see how far you will go to have such a wondrous gift.” The charm disappeared. The itch returned to Judes flesh and all he could think was to scratch it and make it go away. His scrapped his skin so hard it bled and then there was nothing to scratch. His hand went through himself. The itching stopped. Jude looked down at his bloodied arms and he saw the floor through them. Panic hit him, had the witch killed him? Was he now a ghost? Where was his body?

 My second entry:

Elana has given a great challenge that I have every intention of meeting in her  100 words for $100 blogfest

The rules: Post between Jan1st and 31st one 100 word sentence(can stray either way 5 words) only using one semicolon if needed. I think I used one comma instead, so hopefully that does not disqualify me.

 Coming in at 99 words is my sentence:

With time and practice I learned how to kiss without leaving a huge mess, to enjoy a sunset with someone I truly care about watching the blues and purples collide in clouds before the end of a summer day and to pretend that if I did not acknowledge something bad it was less likely to exist directly but found a way of haunting me in the end showing me how to deal with the world in a better way encouraging better relationships with my family and friends and ultimately securing my fate as a writer with experiences to use.


Clarissa Draper said...

Love your 100 word sentence. I think I would have to use lots of adjectives and adverbs but you have a powerful message.

Will Burke said...

The witch story had a lot of info without there being an "info dump" -- Bravo! It's a good trick, and really hard to pull off (for me, anyway). I like how the second entry transitions from the graphic to the obscure!

Old Kitty said...

Oooh your Show me Yours entry is such fun!! What happened to Jude's body and what has Astra got planned for him and just how much does Jude want this charm?!?! Wonderful!

Your 99 word sentence is excellent!!!! Wow!! Good luck with this - it's a fab sentence! Take care

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

oooh, i didn't know about the 100 word sentence contest so that is awesome!
As for the excerpt, at first i was like "oh man, i WANT that charm" mostly for nefarious reasons. But then i got the end and i was all "hmm, maybe i should wait and see what the side effects are..."
great job!

Jules said...

Dang and in that last paragraph my nose started itching. No way am I going to scratch it :)

That sentence should be on a plaque on your wall!
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Elena Solodow said...

I was here. Thanks for joining!

Rebecca T. said...

Ooh! What's she gonna make him do?! Nice. I also liked the 100 words. I'm gonna have to see about entering that one! :D

The Golden Eagle said...

I love your blogfest entries. I really want to know what happens next in the first one, and the sentence is amazing--especially since it's 99 words long!

J.C. Martin said...

That was creepy...he scratched through himself! Interesting concept and imagery. :)

"The simple white square with a silver heart dangling in its middle protected any who wore it from danger." I think this sentence could be clearer with a rewrite, perhaps along the lines of "The simple white square, with the dangling silver heart in its centre, protected any who wore it from danger."

"An itching followed slinking on the surface of his skin and circling its way up his arm until his whole body itched the itch no one could scratch." This could possibly be pared down a little too, along with the addition of more punctuation, maybe "An itching followed, slinking along his skin [skin is already on the surface so mentioning that may be a bit redundant] and circling up his arm, until his whole body itched with an itch no one could scratch."

Feel free to completely disregard my comments. :)

Liked your 100-word sentence too! :)

Summer Ross said...

J.C.~ Good points, When I do revisions these will come in handy- thank you.

L'Aussie said...

Great blogfest entries Summer. I love your imagery in your first piece. I was forgetting to breathe for you 100 words one. Phew! Well done! Happy New Writing Year!

Margo Benson said...

Whoa! He must get the trinket, he must! I loved it and was hooked straight away. Your 99 word sentance is amazing, best of luck.
Thank you for stopping by my blog too, today, so many stories to get through!

Tony Benson said...

I loved your Show Me Yours excerpt. I found myself scratching by the time I finished it! Also your 99 words is well crafted and engaging.

Melissa said...

your 100 word sentence is fantastic. I really loved it.

Elizabeth Twist said...

Thanks for sharing your 99 word sentence! I've been thinking about entering that challenge all day! It's inspiring to read your entry.

That's one nasty witch in your Show Me Yours excerpt! I like her a lot! And that Jude fellow is okay, I suppose. I've got a soft spot for thieves.

Jessica Lei said...

I love your use of the little details--like her eyes sparkling green and her garnet lips. Great description! I also have a soft spot for the name Jude hahaha Great job. Thanks for sharing!

Jodi Henry said...

Both entries were fantastic. Loved Jude's urgency and the mystery we are left with.

Really loved the 100 word sentence entry.

Great job on both,


Hannah Kincade said...

oooh, well done. I'm with Tony. I wanted to scratch my hand as well! haha! Thank you for participating!!

N. R. Williams said...

Your fantasy post is enticing. I want to read more. Your long sentence is great, I hope you win. I didn't join any Jan. blogfest because, I have this awesome blog book tour of which you are a part. Thank you so much.
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

Ellie said...

I love both your entries, Summer. Your nano piece has such great description and leaves me wanting to read more!

Dan said...

I like Jude. He seems to have a genuine sense of purpose, going after what he wants despite the danger. And the mini-cliffhanger works, too.

Also, the sentence is great, too. Very deep. I like it.

Carol Kilgore said...

Wow! That sentence is quite impressive. Good job :)

Justin W. Parente said...

Hi Summer,

So there's a few things to point out here. The first paragraph is mostly telling. At least that's from my perspective. It looks like you're telling a list of what the charm does. Scrap all that and go from the MC's head. Are all of what you told me all the things he thinks he can do with the charm? Make it more personal to his voice.

Second is small, but word economy here. First line of P2, you say "before his hand touched the charm." So, how else would he touch the charm? His foot? Seems silly, but thinking the obvious on your sentences helps trim words. So that makes you see it can be, "Laughter rang before he touched the charm."

Small commentary. Thanks for sharing!

In My Write Mind

Anonymous said...

This comment is in respect to the 'Show me' blogfest entry:

Fascinating start - it sounds like a very powerful amulet. However, the repetition of 'around his neck' twice in the same sentence is jarring to me. Also 'He clutched into his fist...' seems to be missing a pronoun.
There's an awful lot of color in the description of Astra, but that isn't a bad thing.
'...his whole body itched the itch no one could scratch.' That's an oddly awesome phrase.
The witch's curse is interesting, but I'm curious about its overall effect - and how much use the charm would be to Jude in his trade. Would it prevent him from being captured or trapped in a confined place?
Thanks for sharing, and taking part in the 'Show me' blogfest!

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