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8 sentences from my novel- Bloodstone
So I rewrote chapter one of my novel last week. Here is the beginning- what do you think?
It wasn’t the first time something magical had happened to
Ebony. Usually it was a result of her studying runes or thinking about her mother.
This time, however, was different. This time she’d found something.
Typically,
the magic hovered on the outskirts of reality, an image of another time and
place. Dreams of her mother in silk dresses dancing at balls with her father
and a few other men. Her obsidian hair, just as long and feathered as Ebony’s,
flowing about her as she turned with notes from a violin. But her mother had
long since passed away. 
25 comments:
I love the opening line. "It wasn't the first time something magical had happened to Ebony." Very hook-y!
Absolutely beautiful, almost poetic, l loved it!
Haunting and touching. What are runes? Interesting eight.
Ooh, intriguing. I loved the description of the magic. Excellent excerpt!
Oh, I do love stories filled with magic and love the description about how it hovers just outside reality. Very nice 8!
Nice! Great opening lines.
Wonderfully descriptive passage. Love the "obsidian hair".
This is a really strong opening, Summer! Beautifully written! :)
Intriguing and beautiful opening, Summer. :D
OMG, I love how you describe this. It's so visual and haunting. It sucked me write in! I'm following you back Summer!
Excellent excerpt. I loved the description about how magic hovers just outside reality. Evocative.
The opening line is super.
Great opening! It teases with the promise of magic but also grounds the reader with realism. I'd definitely keep reading!
~Joyce Scarbrough
I love it! So fluid, so imaginative. Great work!
This has a lovely, almost haunted feel to it, Summer.Nice work!
Intriguing and evocative opening. Love it!
The opening line has a great hook. The rest made me curious about both the magic and Ebony's mother, especially with the last line.
I'm joining the consensus. That opening line is a terrific hook into the rest of it. Well done!
You pulled me right into the story and left me wanting more.
I really like the ending-raises so many questions. It seems like you have a strong feel for this character's personality and that goes a long way toward making them believable. :)
Very intriguing Summer. I'm curious as to what happened THIS time around.
Smiles
Steph
That was a beautiful snippet, Summer! It raises a lot of questions in its limited space about magic, Ebony's mother and Ebony herself.
I agree, good opening line.
Love the description of her skin itching when she feels magic. You got under MY skin with that! :)
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