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Thanks Christine for hosting the Rainy Day Blogfest go read some of the other great writers participating...I'm sure they will have brilliant pieces!Before I get to my piece- I would very much like you all to check out my right upper corner side bar labeled blogfest/contests, there are many coming up and if you are looking for more to join, trust me there's a lot going on...please have a looksie
Ok so here's mine Short and mysterious :) But I don't have much time, sorry guys.
The rain crumbles like a cookie in my hand. What happened to the sleek wet drops I remembered from my younger years? It no longer holds a sweet scent that used to send me out dancing in the middle of the woods. Its lost all smell completely!
The rain I read about in my books at night- that's what I miss. The humid drops cascading down refreshing the soil bringing life with it. The pretty vibrant flowers, the lush green grass...
All that remains are wet crumbs...the sky sheds burnt dried tears. This is our fault. I know that in the very depths of my sorrow filled heart. WE did this, it was our fairy dust when we evolved that created crumbs out of water, like mud in the sand.With out the fulfilling life liquid, my wings hang in their mournful frown.
37 comments:
Hi,
Simply lovely, capturing the moment of despair and loss, and oh God, WE did this!
best
F
I love that opening line! Wow. You imagery is always so wonderful. Great entry!
Ooo, intriguing idea! For a quick scene you explained the concept really well.
Francine~~ Thank you
Renae~~ I'm glad it pulled you in...thanks for reading
Amie~~Thank you
Awesome! Now I wanna read the novel, k? Get to work. :)
Michelle~~ LOL I just pulled this out of random...there isn't even an outline for this one, just spur of the moment idea.
Cool concept, Summer. Glad I stopped by. I'm fascinated to see where your story goes.
Laurel~~ Thank you, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it yet.
Wow. Just wow. You definitely HAVE to do something with this. Love it!
Brenda- glad you enjoyed it. after the comments I'm getting I might do something with it...
It kinda sounds like a lement in a coming-of-age piece. Very shown-not-told!
Poetic and intriguing! Thanx for sharing that!
Will-- hmmm coming of age piece, could be. I'm glad it does more showing. :)
Tessa-- Thank you
I know you said that you were busy, but I could have read so much more! Fabulous writing and I hope you will turn this into something. Thanks for letting me read.
Wendy-- I think I will eventually. Sorry I stopped to short, but kids and college come first :) Thanks for your comment.
Short and mournful, like a passing rain storm. Thank you for this. ;-D
I assume this is a flash piece. The first analogy of rain v. cookies threw me, but I trusted the author (you) knew what she was doing, and read on.
Sure enough, makes sense in the end.
- Eric
very nice. i love your poetic voice.
A lovely idea well executed.
Hey Summer - Rain that crumbles like cookies. Those faires! Troublesome. Great imagery girl!!!
"rain crumbles like a cookie in my hand"? What a bizarre image! I've never considered rain behaving that way, but I think I love it. Really poetic imagery throughout.
That's really nice. Great job! Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I love this post and its imagines!
Sorry had to run to hospital and did not get to link up for this fest. I did post something sort of to do with rain though.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
I like the cookie crumb comparison and I especially loved the last line. Nice work:)
Nice job. Thanks for sharing
So cool! Love the imagery :)
Stunning imagery. Heartfelt, poignant, sad and real all at once. Lovely. Can't wait to see where you take it.
Very nice :D I admire the way you can craft such a poetic entrance...:D
Wow, so vivid and so sad. Beautiful writing! :)
great imagry. Nice work! :)
Thanks everyone for your comments. I'm glad you all made it to my blog.
I just got done watching 2012 and here you are with dusty rain drops. Summer, your short excerpt is long on emotion. You made me want to run out and embrace the rain. Next time it comes, I think I will do just that.
Thank you, ~that rebel, Olivia
So sad and yet uplifting. I'm taken away by the beautiful sentiment.
..........dhole
I loved the references and the imagery it created ! You really have a way with words.. excellent description :)
Thanks for sharing !
"...wings hang in their mournful frown."
I love this line!
Excellent imagery! I love that you kept it short; it packs a punch and keeps me thinking about it long after reading.
Wow, you have some powerful imagery. It's an interesting juxtaposition: turning rain into crumbs. It made me think of that silicone stuff, which gets all clumpy and weird when it's wet.
Well done! (and short. Yes!!)
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