If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fight Blogfest scene

Here is my entry for Jc_martin's Fight blogfest Its not really great, but its another part of Andaya's trials so I hope it works. I have three classes today, so after I complete homework I will look in on everyone's stories.

This part of the story is near the beginning of Black Diamond City (which I have a small scene for up top on the bar as well)...so it came before the pixy for those who have been reading my other blogfest entries.

Enjoy and don't forget to click back and check out the other amazing authors participating in this...


Andaya stepped onto the stairs easing her way towards the spirits. She floated like a cloud in every step she took. Darkness moved in her peripheral vision...shadows. She turned and saw nothing. She stopped in between two large spirits.
            "Be careful of shadows the light may cast." The spirits said in unison levitating.
            She walked past the gatekeepers. Another breeze flew through her form. She turned. The four spirits were now great winged demons in black. Drool hung from the corner of each mouth. Everything seemed as though it had an opposite side. She looked to the doors. She had to make a run for them. She glanced back at the demons once and then ran for the building. Could she make it, four against one?
            A mere three feet from the door, Andaya flew out from underneath herself. her eyes squinted ready for pain to burst through her as she hit the stairs, but it didn't come. She opened her eyes and found the demon had her ankle and they  both floated in the air. Claws entangled themselves into her leg. They spread a black mist through her silver white form. The idea that something tried to consume her left her panicked. She grabbed for the pavement with her hands, she found nothing but air. She looked into the blue eyes of the demon. He only grinned in return.  Andaya looked down at her leg; he mixed some of himself with her. The black overtook her foot and rose up her calf like a black snake in clear water. Andaya could not sit here and let the dark creature take her over after she  came this far, after she already let her flesh go! A light seemed to flick on in her thoughts; if the darkened spirit could go into her form then she could return the favor.
            With all her might, Andaya flew up fast using the demon as a force then plunged both fists, which she briefly saw as feline paws, into the eyes of the creature. How had she done that? Her hands changed into paws of black panthers, the claws had flung out right before they dug into the demon. The demon writhed and let out a wailing echo as a bright light flashed out its socket. He let her go. She pulled herself from the demon and headed straight to the door before the other three were fully aware of what happened.
            Andaya caught the cool knobs of the huge doors in her slick hands and turned as fast as she could. A blaring blue light flew out as she cracked the door open. The other creatures, right on her heals, let out the same wailing as the light thrashed through their dark forms. Their echoes pierced through her ears as she went through the opening with out looking back.

17 comments:

J.C. Martin @ Fighter Writer said...

This is so great! I've seen all sorts of fights so far--shapeshifting, vampires, telepathy, and now an angel v demons spirit battle! Loved the imagery the entry formed in my mind. It was an exciting read! My only tiny qualm are possibly typos, e.g. "right on her heals", and "Andaya flew out from underneath herself" would probably make more sense if "Andaya's FFET flew out from underneath her". Nevertheless, I really enjoyed reading this! Thanks for taking part! :)

Summer Ross said...

Good suggestion Jc--I'll change that when I have the option

Meredith said...

Oooh, creepy floating demon! This is such a tense fight scene--I totally got caught up in it!

Elena Solodow said...

Nice job, Summer! I really like how the demon tries to take her over. Creepy.

Jules said...

Wonderful, Summer. I loved the description of black on white; i.e. good versus evil. Great imaginary. :D
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Jen said...

This was really great!!! You do creepy very well!! I enjoyed this!! I'm not very good at these types of scenes so it's a great learning tool for me!

Michelle said...

I knew yours would have demons!! weee Great job!

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

"Her hands changed into paws of black panthers" so cool!

Great fight scene. I hate demons who try to take characters over, they deserve an ass kicking. lol.

Carolyn V. said...

I love the action in this Summer! Way to go. =)

Mesmerix said...

Spirt/flight battles are really tough to convey, the physics don't register well and require a good hand at description.

I think you pulled it off. :) Very difficult to write, so I give you strong kudos for it. I enjoyed the piece and am very curious about the "let her flesh go" bit. Makes me want to read more!

Scribbler to Scribe

Summer Ross said...

Thanks to everyone for your comments. I'm glad it read well for all of you. It is difficult to write description with spirits, I'm glad I gave good enough images.

Amanda Sablan said...

Great action, and man was I glad that demon got what was coming to him. Thanks for sharing. :]

Kittie Howard said...

Wow, creepy, creppy. Great job. I bet you had fun writing this fight scene. Saw your comment at Larry's. I posted a Louisiana story today that centered on my Mother. Read where you also lost yours. I'm sorry.

Damyanti said...

Everything seemed as though it had an opposite side.

I loved that sentence! Cool entry...I can't do action scenes well, so I learned a lot from this.

Donna Hole said...

Angels and demons; really cool. Love the way he (demon) tried to tak her over. Exotic and intense.

Nicely written.

.......dhole

Raquel Byrnes said...

Oh that was eerie! I especially liked the metaphor of like a snake in black water...very vivid! Great job!

Edge of Your Seat Romance

roh morgon said...

Sorry to be so late with my comments...

I love this line: "...he mixed some of himself with her."

Very creepy.

Nice job with the demon vs angel. Great pace and a really cool action scene. I like this!

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