If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The power of Tension Blogfest entry

This is my entry for the power of tension blogfest hosted by Rachel Morgan.


From my wip Beyond Words: 296 words long


Every part of her wished this was a horrible nightmare. Tears stung at the corner of her eyes. She clutched the book finding a small form of comfort. She felt the change in the air and awaited the blow she knew would precede her actions.

She didn't have long to wait before his fist collided brutally with her left cheek. White hot pain burst from his welcoming and flooded her eye and jaw.

“I expect an answer,” Jeffrey said.

“I had...” tears sprang down her cheeks as she attempted words. Her whole body shook.

“You had what my dear?”

“Errands.” That was all she could muster as she chocked down her sobs and attempted to breath. She knew he enjoyed seeing her this way. She was below him, a mere woman.

“I see. What's this?” Jeffrey grabbed the book from Shray's hands and her eyes flew open. Pain rushed into her left eye and she felt the pressure of her swelling face.

“Williams dictionary. Wonderful darling. I knew I'd get it eventually. You see, it's the only reason I pretended to be with you for so long. I had to wait around for that piss-ant to die. My grandfather gave him this book. I may not posses his powers, but when I'm done with his greatest treasure it will all be mine.”

Shray stared at him. His grandfather gave William the book? He knew about it? Jeffrey’s eyes locked with hers.

“Don't you dare look at me that way! You kept this from me on purpose, you whore!” Jeffrey’s foot came up faster than Shray could react and collided with her chin. Blinding pain shot out all over her face. She felt her body fall back, her head met the wall. Then nothing, empty black space.


24 comments:

Michael Di Gesu said...

WOW, Summer...

That was certainly tense. So different from you fairylore. You have an excellent way of creating so much drama in such a short excerpt. Well done.

Carolyn V said...

Awesome Summer! So much tension!

GigglesandGuns said...

Whoa, Summer. This is really a dark passage. Very tense and very dark.

Gabrielle said...

What a jerk. I kind of want to jump into the story and punch that guy in the face. I wonder what's so important about that book?

Old Kitty said...

Bad evil horrible Jeffrey!! Oh sorry, but he has to die, like NOW!

Powerful piece of writing here, Summer - I felt Shray's fear and felt her pain!! Bad Jeffrey! Take care
x

Rachel Russell said...

This was a really awesome passage. It was dark and was chock-full of tension.

The Golden Eagle said...

There's so much tension in this piece!

Great writing.

Jules said...

Okay I have been sick and I'm weak but this makes me want to kick his Arse! Great job as usual. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Alleged Author said...

Really good! I usually hate 3rd person but I like this!

Kittie Howard said...

Wow, Summer, that's gorgeous tension! And your dialogue is perfect. Great job!

Damyanti said...

This is tension personified---the interaction between the two of them is fiery and violent.

Kim said...

Great post - I like how you used questions to intensify the tension - His grandfather gave William the book? He knew about it? - Well done.

Ellie Garratt said...

OMG. Dark and packed full of tension. I want to reach out and knock Jeffrey to the floor myself!

Power Of Tension Blogfest

Margo Benson said...

Oh, soooo tense! Wonderful writing, Summer. The spare dialogue made it so gripping and don't we all loathe Jeffrey!

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

Great entry! Jeffrey is horrid, and I'm dying to know the importance of Williams dictionary and what will happen next!

Lady Gwen said...

This was packed full of tension and I want to know what happens next!

Botanist said...

Ouch! I was just willing her to whack him with the book and stamp his face into pulp. I hope there's a bit of that on its way...

Sonia said...

This is full of tension! Especially the end; I would read on!

Regina said...

What a great entry. Very powerful tension between these characters and very vivid description. I enjoyed your excerpt.

Stephanie M said...

Great work! I hope Jeffery gets what's coming to him.

Rachel Morgan said...

I echoe Old Kitty's sentiments: "Bad evil horrible Jeffrey!!"

Thanks for entering :-)

Crystal said...

I'm with Botanist up there - I hope Shray gives him what-for but good later on! Really well done - just oozing tension. :-)

Scheherazade said...

Ahh, pure evil. Nice excerpt.

stickynotestories said...

Ouch! What an awful person that Jeffrey is! I hope he gets his just desserts later in the book >;)

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