If I had to describe myself, it would be in a word that has many meanings with a complexity which falls off the tongue.
A word made up of many elements, is deceptive in appearance, and creates an illusion from the imagination.
My word would be Phantasmagoric. ~Summer Ross

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A-z: Description

Today I'm giving you a description, because writing stories relies upon the ability to describe something on a page that a reader can see, feel, touch, or hear. I'm picking the description I think is best out of all my writing so far, it will only be a single paragraph.

 
      The air coats my small body in a cool wrapper. I place my hands under my back to keep them warm. The fan kicks on from the ceiling and a fresh breeze drifts between my legs. I shiver at the delicate touch of the airs’ fingertips. My toes are not frozen but they are ice cold when I sit up and place them Indian style under my legs. From the high point of the bed, I can see the white marble textured floor. It is glazed over letting my deformed reflection stare back at me asking how much longer I must wait. My heart pounds in my chest as I hear feet scuffle across the floor outside the room. The door is blocking everyone from view. Its small silver handle turns slowly as if it is relishing in my anticipation. The light from the ceiling flickers a quick blink and I think back to how I got here.

What did you picture as you read this?

17 comments:

Old Kitty said...

I picture a patient in a hospital room - very alone, very small, dwarfed by her surroundings and scared witless!!!

Lovely description - thank you! Take care
x

Jo Schaffer said...

Sounds like the victim of a kidnapping into white slavery. Brrr!

LTM said...

a little girl sitting up in a big bed in a cold room... I stayed in a room w/a marble floor once. VERY cold.

I like this very much, and not just b/c it's chilly today! Thanks, Summer~ :o)

N. R. Williams said...

You're writing is tight and very strong. An excellent excerpt. I thought of someone waiting for surgery in a hospital bed.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium.

The Golden Eagle said...

A prison, with bright strip lights on the ceiling.

I love the way you described it. :)

Áine Tierney said...

Very cold feel to this! I can feel the cold toes.

Ella said...

I pictured an asylum, an expensive one, due to the fan and white marble floor. Or you are in Hollywood and have just had your face redone.
I like your writing, too~ Well Done!

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Birth!

Faith said...

Prison... hospital... plastic surgery room... whatever it is, it's very evocative!

Julie said...

Agree with everyone else, this is great! I pictured someone being held captive. It gave me the chills just to read this, well done!

Kittie Howard said...

Great job! I first thought, hospital. But, no, there's something creepy here, trouble awaits.

Cindy said...

An expensive asylum is what I imagined too.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

I pictured people under siege by a mighty blizzard, locked out of the house accidentally.

Jules said...

I pictured a small lost soul, one time forgot. What a description!
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Jingle said...

i think you may be in a relative or friend's house,

or a college student in a new dorm,
or a traveler in a motel/hotel...

love the way your words speak.
beautiful descriptions.

Elayne said...

I also thought of a prison or an asylum.

Regina said...

I felt alone and in solitary confinement..nothing warm or comforting to the room. Totally blank and cold. Really great piece. Thanks for sharing!

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